Real Gourmet Burger

101 Terenure Road East

Dublin 6

By guest reviewer Suzy

This week Dublin Burger Club was once again encroached upon by a part-time burger fan, and this time I completely took over. I decided to take the choice of where to go out of the poor DBC-ers hands for a week, and before Rory knew what had hit him, I had sent my options, stated my terms, & more than implied ‘it’s my way or the highway’.

After a little deliberation, and a lot of Googling, Real Gourmet Burger was the winner. A trip to Dun Laoghaire, lovely! What an excellent addition I had made myself to be to the group. But not for nothing am I not an official member of DBC; turns out this restaurant had closed a few years ago & are now only based in Terenure. Thanks to Google Maps (this post is not sponsored by Google, it just helps me get through life) we ventured forth on the 15A and landed just a few feet down from the restaurant.

Real Gourmet Burger boasts an impressive menu. There are over 10 standard options, and pretty much every ‘extra’ you could wish to throw in there too, along with a vast array of sauces.

Upon being seated and telling our waiter we were waiting for a fourth member, he asked if we would like any drinks to be on with. You’d expect this to be standard practise in any restaurant, but sadly it isn’t, so it is a little bonus for me. Ryan and Kirsty also ordered their, now somewhat staple, Buffalo Wings to be on with till Rory decided to grace us with his presence. I didn’t touch these wings, the smell alone was enough to make my eyes water, and I stuck to stealing their celery, even after Ryan told me ‘No-one loves celery, Suzy’. The portion was huge, perfect for two people to enjoy as a reasonably sized starter, and I was advised that they were lovely.

Rory had since arrived so we were able to order our burgers whilst Ryan and Kirsty were polishing off their wings. Timing here was perfect, the burgers didn’t arrive whilst the wings were still going, nor did they take forever after the starter was cleared. More points.

The burgers looked amazing. Rising to the ceiling like little towers of heaven, there was no chance anyone was fitting it in whole. Sadly looks were pretty much all they had going for them. I ordered the Azzurri, and more than half the height was made by the rocket leaves which I had to remove. The taste of the pesto and pancetta was good, but overpowering, and I honestly couldn’t say if the actual beef burger tasted nice or not. The pesto had also been spread directly onto the bottom bun, which seeped through and split my bun faster than I could take a bite, thus the cutlery was brought into action.

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Ryan had the Blue Cheese burger and added mushroom to it for a bit of a change. He agreed that it was too big to pick up and eat, and the depth of the burger bun didn’t help either. No flavour was discernible over the incredibly strongly-flavoured red onion jam which was heaped on, and although each component was good, they didn’t work together. Too many cold, wet ingredients rendered the whole thing soggy and lukewarm, and the bun soaked everything up and fell apart.

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Ryan demonstrates how to tackle these messy burgers. Note – bib for comedy purposes only.

Kirsty ordered the Holy Moly with extra pancetta, and once again agreed it was just too big to enjoy. The ham was tasty, as was an unidentified green sauce, but once again the bun structure failed, and cutlery had to save the day.

Rory went for a single patty for once, I forgot to ask if he was feeling well. The caramelised onions were not your standard practise and that somewhat ruined it for him. He also found the bun to be too thick and as it wasn’t even toasted, we all just found it a bit too much.

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All agreed the burgers themselves were flavourless, and lost under all the accompaniments.

The chips however deserve their own paragraph. These were good, very good. Crisp and tasty and, even, as suggested by Ryan, the best chips they’ve had thus far..

Undeterred by the burgers we proceeded to completely pig out and order desserts and hot drinks. This is where my eyes are usually too big for my belly and I collapse in a heap unable to continue. Not so. I ordered a chocolate brownie, Rory got the profiteroles, Ryan the Eton Mess, and Kirsty the mini dessert. The mini dessert consisted of a cup of coffee and a nibble of brownie, which was perfectly sized for our Kirst but couldn’t have done me. Unfortunately the brownie was not a brownie, but a ‘weird stale tasting chocolate cake’ – not the greatest end to our meal. The boys however loved their desserts. Ryan made a noise I don’t think I’ll ever forget, or sadly be able to replicate, when I asked if he was enjoying his Mess, and that kind of made up for my sad non-brownie.

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An impression of Ryan enjoying his Eton Mess

Overall I was a little saddened by my choice. It had a winning menu, and the restaurant itself looked lovely. It was full, but service was quick, and our waiter was lovely. The only let-down, but of course, the let-down that matters, was the food. Looking at the options it seems they will go beautifully together, but perhaps just one or two simple fillings are all you need, and a tasty, tasty burger itself.

I also need to note, as a tea fiend, paying just under €3 I would have at least hoped for a pot, but what we got was a small mug with a bag and hot water which is nothing less than you’d get in a motorway café.

Burger 5/10

Sides 8/10

Service 8/10

Overall score 6/10

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