Blanchardstown Shopping Centre,
I just want to make a point of saying that as I write this review I’m listening to Spotify, and I’m terrified to take my earphones out in case my singing is as bad as I think it is..
Anyways – moving on.
This week, myself, Ryan & Rory reunited for burgers. We stayed local (for myself & Rory anyway) and hit Captain America’s in Blanchardstown. I admit, I was the last one there, which is a sin, as I live the closest. When I eventually decided to grace the lads with my presence, they were sat beside one of the huge windows. The big windows in Captain America’s always freak me out, I feel like everyone walking past in watching me eating, and truth be told, I eat like a hungry baby hippo.
Captain America’s menu is impressive. Full of everything that could be wanted for the average carb lover. But, I wasn’t here for pasta, or pizza. I was here for burgers.
And then we had a moment of weakness and spotted the starters. Chicken wings are in my opinion, the deciding factor in whether I’ll go back to a place. If they can’t get the chicken wings right, then what’s the point? So, Ryan and I split a bowl, purely for reviewing purposes to give you guys a rounded review of everything on offer. Not buying it? No, I didn’t think so.
Well, myself and Ryan (and Rory believe it or not!) were not disappointed. We went for Cajun wings. They come in either a single or a sharing portion. Sharing portion is right – I could have solved world hunger had I been in the right place with the size of the bowl! When I was young and foolish, I always thought Eddie Rockets was the king of chicken wings. I could never see how anywhere else could compare. And THEN, Eddie Rockets stopped putting sauce on their chicken wings – to the point where I’ve had to ask for extra sauce on the side. Captain America’s thankfully, haven’t followed suit with this. The Cajun sauce was EVERYWHERE. Definitely not an attractive thing to have to witness (taking this opportunity to apologise to Rory & Ryan. But especially Rory – I think I’ve managed to turn him off women altogether). All in all, this long winded paragraph is basically telling you to get the chicken wings. They won’t change your life, but they’ll definitely brighten up your day.
Welcome to the bone yard….
So that was the first course done – I had high hopes for the rest. The good stuff, the reason we’re all here, the burgers. When you look at the menu in Captain America’s, and you turn to that glorious burger page, you’re greeted by a big yellow box, in which Captain’s boast about their beef having no additives, fillers, or preservatives. Impressive stuff. Until you read further. “Not even salt and pepper!” So basically Mr. America, you’re about to hand a butchers daughter unseasoned meat? A risky choice, but I applaud the ballsy-ness (that’s not a word) there.
Applauded it until I actually got the burger. I went for the Big Smoke – “100% Irish beef burger on a toasted bun & laden with homemade onion strips & smoked bacon – prepare to be impressed! Served with BBQ sauce on the side.”
I think we all know where this is going folks… let’s just jump right to it shall we?
I was NOT impressed. Not even slightly. I always cut my burgers in half – most of them stay together relatively well. Not this one. It crumbled like a girl whose just been dumped at her first teenage disco by a bloke with a shit eyebrow piercing and blonde tips in his hair. I managed to salvage one half of it. Taste wise? It was Ok. Nothing more, nothing less, just okay. I wouldn’t write home about it, but at the same time, I wouldn’t say it was the worst burger I’ve ever had.
The bacon was full of fat; and slightly burnt. The onion strips were okay, they didn’t really add anything in my not so humble opinion. Then we done what shall forever be known as “The Ryan”. We picked the burger out, and tasted it on its own. Remember at the start Mr America was bragging on his menu about not seasoning his burgers? Yeah, here’s a pro tip – stop bragging. It’s nothing to brag about. The meat just tasted of absolutely nothing. And yes, I’m well aware that we can add salt and pepper ourselves, but sure if I wanted to make my own food, I’d have stayed at home! The burgers had so much potential – it just doesn’t appear as though they’ve quite figured out the basics. And if you don’t have the basics right, adding everything on top of it isn’t doing the food any justice. HOWEVER – I will give a big shout out for the sweet potato fries. They were good, and well worth the extra euro (I think they were an extra euro – unless I’m making that up).
Then came dessert. Oh yes, we went all out this week – three courses. Don’t know who we think we are! I went for what can only be described as the most genius idea I’ve ever come across. The Ice Cream Cookie Sandwich. Now before everyone goes up in arms because it’s something that’s been done before – I’m not sure I’ve ever quite seen it done the way Captain America’s do it. The cookies were the size of my head (if anyone remembers the banana competition, you’ll know that I have a massive head – see below) and sandwiched between it was the most glorious vanilla ice cream I’ve ever tasted.
The only downside? The cookies were rock solid. Probably because of the ice-cream – but it was far too difficult to eat it properly. Cookies in the microwave for 30 seconds before the ice cream was lashed on would have solved it. But nonetheless, credit where credit is due – they’re onto a good thing.
The bill came to around €105 for the three of us – €35 each, which for three courses (and bottomless fizzy drinks!) I’m not sure can be complained about. I’ll also say, the service was pretty good. Our waiter was friendly and we weren’t waiting too long. The atmosphere of the place gets big points from me (because they were playing One Direction, and I’m biased).
All in all, is it worth a visit? Yeah, I’d say so, once you’re not expecting to be mind blown. After the wings and dessert, I think Captains have serious potential for the other dishes on offer for the mains – but from solely a burger point of view – there’s better available. I’d be inclined to go back and try some of their other mains, because with the starters and dessert that good – somethings gotta give!
Burgers – 5/10
Sides/Starters – 8/10
Desserts – 7/10
Service – 7/10
Value – 8/10